road to nowhere

 

I always thought if I ran away from people, it meant I was running away from my problems.

I realized now, I was only trying to run away from myself.

But how can you run away from yourself?

motivation

 

I want her stomach.

I'm giving myself to June.

2.5kgs more to lose till end of Feb.

messy messy christmas eve

Had an eventful Christmas Eve.

Got fucked up.

Nothing good came out except for a few hours of escape and embarrassing myself.

Why am I so messed up?

Kindergarden on repeat

Last night, they had a fight and she was telling me how none of her best friends and family are not here. She cried and she cried but they made up at the end.

But what about me? My best friends are literally in two different continents from me. I've not seen one for about 3.5 years. I don't speak to my dad anymore. And I'm being a big bitch to everyone because I don't want to be friends with anyone because I feel so unlikeable and I just can't forgive and forget. One strike and you're out forever.

I am now back to feeling really, really, really down. Feeling nothing was slightly better.

Only to me

Once again, I failed the test and I've to repeat for the 4th time.

It only reminds me of how weak I'm and makes me feel even more shit about myself.

Been craving nothing but chocolate. Think my body is trying to seek some sort of happiness.

And fuck you all, Melbourne public transport.

I hate you, yarra trams.

I hate you, metro

I HATE YOU, TERRY MULDER! YOU'RE DOING A SHIT JOB.

I got trapped behind a night rider door and the dick head of a driver didn't even care.

Thank fucking god, I somehow managed to slip out but now, my back is very sore.

I feel stupid for not taking down the driver's name and bus license.

At least, I got these to look forward to.

Outfit du Jour

Trying my best to smile but everyone is catching on.

Shoes I wore

 

ps. will take a better picture of clothes worn later. Blurry effect was intended.

It's a sickness

I bought three dresses, to be fair one is for my sister.

I had to stash them right at the back of the closet to hide it from my partner.

btw, Sportsgirl has 20% off today. 

AA sale 2 for 1.

Self control?

None.

Fake Smiles

Anger.

I can't even post any of my thoughts and emotions on this blog.

Sometimes, I don't even see the point of it.

Even though I know we are not exactly together, I still can't help but feel jealousy.

It's as if you're cheating on me.

Homeless

 I don't belong here.

Where did my heart go?

Oh dear lord,

I've gained weight.

And why have I grown taller?!?!?!? I don't need to be any fucking taller!!

Windows

 

This is what I often feel like, looking through a window, looking at other people fulfilling and making their happiness outside when I stay shut on the inside.

New Jewelry

 

♥

She is so pretty

 

wish I am as pretty as she is

This makes me wanna smash your face

veg·e·tar·i·an

/ˌvɛdʒɪˈtɛəriən/ Show Spelled[vej-i-tair-ee-uhn]

–noun

a person who does not eat or does not believe in eating meat, fish, fowl, but subsists on vegetables, fruits, nuts, grain, etc. (dictionary.com)

So don't come telling me you're a vegetarian when after I list all our vegetarian dishes, you go, "oh yeah.. I eat chicken and fish too."

THAT'S NOT FUCKING A VEGETARIAN, YOU COCK.

major lusting

Top to Bottom: Mara Hoffman poncho dress, PL talon claw ring, PL heart locket.

ALL sold out. Not happy.

Fattyness is Sadness

I ate wayyyy too much at the Royal Show. I now have a bigger pot belly to show for it. Must Run... I even gave my pole class a miss last night. 
What is happening to me?

You don't care

At first, I thought you did but now I know you don't.

Thanks for everything anyways.

"I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner, and everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner"

I've started running last week - my plan to become as much of a skinny bitch as I can by mid Nov this year. Unfortunately, eating Mccas for lunch doesn't really help, does it? Better updates soon!

SHOES!

 

 4 new pairs of shoes I've bought/received within a week.
Ok. Really. No more shopping. I keep telling myself this but who am I kidding?

How could I've felt so intensely for someone to nothing at all?

There is something on my mind

And it is all you.

You're all I think about - think too much about, think too little about.

I want to talk to you all day, I want you to reply and write me more. I want to know everything about you. I want to be a part of every single day of your life. You tell me the sweetest things but yet you act so distant.

This is the longest road to nowhere.

breakfast

Shopping can cure sadness

 

(images via topshop.com)

(image via sportsgirl.com.au)
 

A perfect summer skirt.

 

 Interesting turn of event.. Must be the stars.

Jaded.

I'm a mess

in my eyes, you are no longer a dad. you probably never were

I don't ever want to speak to you again.

And I don't even want you to try.

I'm over it. Over trying.

I hope you don't care for me as I don't give a damn about you anymore.

You're dead to me.

That was absolute bullshit.

I hate people.

falling from grace

sleepless.

feeling hopeless.

weakness.


nothing like a beautiful mess.

This is how I feel right now.

Be brave.

We are all dying by the day, by the hour, by the minute, by the second.
So why not do something crazy today?

"Friends"

If no one cares, why should I?

I feel unwanted. I don't even know why I bother going back anymore.

Lindsay Lohan

Love her as the train wreck that she is.

Dickheads

If you're in such a damn hurry, here's a suggestion. Why not make an earlier booking for your dinner plans instead of being rude and rushing your waitress? Hey, when you're more polite, I'm more than willing to accommodate you.

Dickheads.

Beginnings and Endings

Every time I feel any negative emotion, I have a small cry and put all the thoughts and feelings into the back of my head and heart. And the rest of me runs far, far, far away.